Eyemilieyes Eyestevez

Dungeon Majesty

Devastina

barbarian mistress

tougher than a troglodyte hide

two headed battle axe

cleaves skeletons in the musty caverns

rage as you do but 

careful around Mystika's

classy skinny skeleton slave

Boney M

Mystika--she takes life away

just as easy as she gives it

and her clothes are woven

with spidery silken threads

made of mystery

and darkness

a very

necromantic

kind of lifestyle

a beast nearby polymorphs into

Shakuntala, half elf

warrior child of two divorced worlds

she wills upon her foes a natural disaster

she does whatever the fuck she wants

because she is--I am pretty sure--

chaotic neutral

over her shoulder Latiza sends

2 x magic missile pow pow!

you said you go to wizard school?

psssh

double magic missile is in Latiza's blood

a part of her body as much as her beguiling

blazing eye balls

these four vanquish foes so bad

every night the dungeon master

weeps himself to sleep

majesty of the dungeon;

matriarch rulers of fate

you may pretend to roll the dice as though it were your master

but you bad-asses are not fooling anybody

purikura girl

purikura girl
transcends something

every time she

goes in

the purikura

how do we collect
this stuff

even though

we are the ones

who make it

create
a perfect
capitalism











spider queen

hatchlings in the lair
deep underground

dear reader,
I know what you are thinking but
her lair is extremely
well decorated

spider queen has the keenest
spider sense

also
the keenest
sharp spider mandibles

spider queen every day
your dark elf spider minions
engage in a never-ending war with the scientists over

who will control

all humans

I hope it stays that way because
there is no good or
evil in this world
only spider queen

ggggg

huge red emeryville electric E

burns in the night

I follow it home
down wood street past

the burnt out train station

burnt out train station once

MC Hammer did a music video

inside of you but now

you are as old and greasy as

an old crow

your wings have been clipped,

burnt out train station and

people build condos in your name because they

hope you can spin in your grave fast enough

to power all their units

now that is

sustainable

MC hammer

tried to hire all his friends but

he could not keep it up

& now he is

broke

burnt out train station

I wish you could fly but

I would never make you wings

of wax

time to

go out to the field and
gather the worms
close by




time two

the next time it
was not as good as the
first time

usually it is
this way




times two

every week we did
the multiplication speed test
everyone had to
do it

I came in last
every time

this embarrassed me

I think
I went slow because
I could not concentrate
and I could not concentrate
because I felt embarrassed

also--
I was not fast at my
multiplication tables
& that did not
help

still we had
to do it

most things
were this way




two times

I watched as
two times he
hit her

it took four before
I could come back to my body




old timer

I shouted to her out
the car window but she
was hard of hearing &
in the middle of
talking to
whoopi goldberg

I looked back and I
noticed whoopi
standing right
there

whoopi probably
thought I was yelling
at her




old timey

noah would say this
a lot he
liked it when stuff was
old-timey




old times

stuff is not like it
used to be but
I can not remember
exactly the way it was

some white guys
feel oppressed

really, though
we are jealous

jealous because we are
swimming in the guilt
of what it means
to be who we are

the more you try
to ignore the guilt
the tougher it is
to live with it

do you
live with it?

maybe if I start calling myself
"oppressed"
it will go away










one last one before sleep

i can not believe
i fall for your cheap tricks,
john darnielle

you are like groucho marx
if groucho was sad
instead of funny

still I feel the way I do
when I hear you
on the stereo
at 1.38 AM

lisette and vivian outside are
arguing about a lighter

i dont mean it as a joke but
i just had deja vu

Tim #3

"Dude, it's like 30 emails a day, and I try to be nice and reply to everyone with a touch of personability. Sometimes I screw up, sorry.

Tim"


CURSES!
-hopes
-dreams
-fantasies

DASHED!
ALL DASHED BY TIM

how could somebody do this to me
how could someone not see
my genius
my beautiful, glorious
GENIUS.

MY GENIUS THAT RADIATES
LIKE A MILLION TINY RHINESTONES
AS THE SUN IS SETTING
OVER NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

you will regret this, tim!
one day I will be so famous
one day I will have a car
I am going to drive it right up to your house
I am going to have the coolest sneakers
I am going to deliver to you the latest issue
of Atlantic Monthly
that month it will have my face
RIGHT ON IT,
TIM

and you are going to regret it!!!
you will regret it then!!!