Tim #3

"Dude, it's like 30 emails a day, and I try to be nice and reply to everyone with a touch of personability. Sometimes I screw up, sorry.

Tim"


CURSES!
-hopes
-dreams
-fantasies

DASHED!
ALL DASHED BY TIM

how could somebody do this to me
how could someone not see
my genius
my beautiful, glorious
GENIUS.

MY GENIUS THAT RADIATES
LIKE A MILLION TINY RHINESTONES
AS THE SUN IS SETTING
OVER NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

you will regret this, tim!
one day I will be so famous
one day I will have a car
I am going to drive it right up to your house
I am going to have the coolest sneakers
I am going to deliver to you the latest issue
of Atlantic Monthly
that month it will have my face
RIGHT ON IT,
TIM

and you are going to regret it!!!
you will regret it then!!!

tim #2

i sent tim
another email today

"SUBJECT: Dear Tim
------BODY--------
Tim, I have another poem for you, Tim.
It is called "tim" and I wrote it about you--Tim."

after that i pasted in TIM #1
i hope tim likes TIM #1

tim

i sent my poems to a lit mag
and the guy wrote back to me:
"Thanks for letting us consider some of your work,"

can you believe it?
he thanked me
for letting him consider my work
i must be a truly great writer

to an editor
it must be a privilege to receive my
robot manuscript
in the internet e mails box

i am going to get so big
i will be really famous
and make money
really, any money at all
would be nice right now

but right there is when things got hairy:
"Thanks for letting us consider some of your work, Michael."

i
am not Michael.
apparently, though
it is a good thing to be Michael
this presented a problem

"Looking forward to the read.

Best,
Tim"

i decided
to play it cool

"OK-- thanks much Tim."

i said.

maybe he will not notice
i am NOT Michael
until after he accepts the poems

i am eating thai
and drinking an old heineken
i found in the fridge of the
children's museum

i have eaten little enough today
that the one beer is getting me
a little drunk

old heineken
tastes worse than heineken

please send me some money, tim